Guidelines for Family and Friends

Learn as much as you can about eating disorders. Include information on eating disorder treatment options.

Learn about and develop a support network in which you can talk openly about your feelings and frustrations and where you can develop a plan of action to deal with the person with the eating disorder.

Talk directly to the person with the eating disorder about your concerns. Pay close attention to details about behaviors you've noticed and are concerned about and talk with the person about them.

Offer information to the person about eating disorder treatment options and programs. Offer to go with them to talk with a professional about your concerns.

Be sensitive but firm.

Do not discuss the issue with others, unless the person with the eating disorder has given you permission. However, do encourage other concerned individuals to speak with the person with the eating disorder. Try to be objective, calm and caring in your discussing the individual's behavior that concerns you. Avoid offering simple solutions.

Accept the person for who they are. Make it clear to them that your feelings don't depend on their weight, shape, size or eating habits.

If a person is in acute medical danger or when dealing with minors, exercise responsibility and authority. Trying to CONVINCE then they need treatment for their eating disorder is usually counterproductive.

Try to maintain as normal a lifestyle as possible. It's important for you and the person with the eating disorder not to structure your life around the eating disorder.

As much as possible, try not to allow your life to be disrupted concerning issues of weight, eating and food.

Encourage the person with the eating disorder to take responsibility. Allow them to participate in treatment decisions. Don't shield the person from the consequences of having an eating disorder. Encourage them to find help for the eating disorder from experienced professionals.

Try to stay patient. The physical, psychological, behavioral, social and cultural rehabilitation of a person with an eating disorder takes time.

Remember there is no single cause for an individual's eating disorder.

Share your thoughts, feelings and frustrations with others who are involved.

Be a good role model around food and when discussing food or weight related issues.

Take care of your own social and emotional needs. If you are exhausted, you won't be able to provide much emotional support.

Compassion does not mean being manipulated by the other person. Expect the other person to be responsible for their behavior and to deal with the consequences of it.

Remember the person you love is separate from the eating disorder they have. Refrain from statements such as "She IS anorexic" and shift to "She is battling anorexia."